YOU MAY CALL EACH OTHER BEST FRIENDS OR BROTHERS, BUT THE LABELLING IS NOT AS IMPORTANT AS THE RELATIONSHIP!

Ice-cream session with X. That was in the past.

“Are we still best friends?” types X via Windows Live Messenger. It has been a while since I last chat with X, a person I have known for more than a decade. As both of us lead a nomadic lifestyle, we’ve remained as best buddies despite moving to various corners of the world. The once-trendy ICQ bridged our friendship.

Both of us are in Malaysia now. We are no longer teenagers and we are no longer in high school. A decade has gone since we first met and since then, we’ve graduated from university and we have blossoming careers.

Yet as we move on with life (career, relationships, growing circle of friends, etc.), I find that my friendship (I like to call it Best Friendship!) is changing and evolving. I noticed the shift when X started dating. We seldom chat with each other online, we seldom SMS each other and we seldom hangout. Previously, we would go to One Utama and Ikea together to talk about anything under the sun. Nowadays, we do not even communicate with each other. (I know, I know, my BFF needs to date his GF, too!)

Eventually, I am moving on with my life by letting other friends enter my life and to start a Best Friendship with them. These new people are the ones that I chat with everyday via Google Chat, BB Messenger, Twitter, Facebook, phonecalls, etc. Hanging out with them is also much easier. The funny thing about me is that if a friend constantly rejects my invites, I totally get the hint.

This morning I saw X online on my list. I started the conversation and as one thing lead to another, he asked me: Are we still best friends?

Are we?

To consider the duration of our friendship, yes, we should remain as Best Friends. To consider the amount of communication we’ve shared, I doubt we are Best Friends anymore. Yet, I do believe that X is a person I should not let go. Seriously, we’ve been friends for a decade. That’s a long period. However, I do believe that our Best Friendship may have to shift as we bring new people in our life. As we grow older, our expectations of life are different and perhaps we want to hangout with certain people that understands us, and usually these people are from the same working industry.

What I’ve learned: “Best Friends” and “Brothers” are just some labels. It feels good to have a “Best Friend” or “Brother”. I’m sure you remember the story of B from an earlier post. He told me he considers me as his own brother, but I didn’t know that brothers actually lie to each other (or maybe they do?). To hangout with B is impossible as he has his own hangout buddies of which I am not a part of the clique. I am a “brother” but at the same time I am not part of the “clique”.

It’s simple: If you want  me to consider you as my best friend, then start acting like a best friend. I am not asking for much, really. If I can take the initiative, so can you. At most, if I SMS you, please reply. If I want to hangout, let’s make a point to meet. Yes, we are busy people but instead of saying “I am busy” and totally reject my invitation,  just say “I am busy, but I will give you another date. What about next Friday?” Find a solution. (Sorry for bringing in some communication/PR 101 as I am a graduate of Communication!)

Whatever it is, I am not here to create enemies. I am just here to rant about what is going on and howI feel. I doubt X is reading this anyway. We’ve been friends for a decade and may we be friends until we’re much, much, much older.

Good news: I’ve been told X is free to meet real soon.

I ask, “How soon is soon?”

Next year! Ok then. See you in 2010, X!

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